Friday, August 13, 2010

Thinking of now

I just got present to something (and in the most literal way).  This moment, right now as you are reading this, is the only moment of it's kind.  Your perspective, your emotional response, the way the air moves, the slow degrade of the objects around you, this snapshot in your life and in mine will never be the same.  We will never experience what we are experiencing right now.  We will never see (no one will ever see) what we see now.  I think of my grandmothers, who will turn 100 this September, and all that she's seen.  I ask her what it was like to see suffragettes out on the streets, how she felt about vehicles, or the civil rights movement.  She didn't care much for any of it, and didn't have much to say about it.  "What a loss!"  I think, that someone lived through all of these incredible developments and didn't look for it or didn't care about it!  I think of all of these milestones in history (whether we think of them as good or bad) and then wonder how many of us are asleep to them.  What can be happening right now that we are asleep to?  I'm not saying that we should seek out all of the big changes and try to be there when it happens to say "I was there when...", but rather I'm saying that we need to be more fully aware of the gift that the present really is!  Think about it- you are the ONLY one with the experience and perspective that you have, and this is the only moment like this that you will ever have!  Whether you are soaking in a bathtub, walking to the store, chanting at a rally or reading a blog online... this moment is precious so try staying right here and don't wander off.

I had a friend in high school who had the most beautiful smile.  I can picture her right now, daydreaming about her amazing dimples and the way her face lit up.  She tried her hardest to stop herself from smiling, often times physically holding her lips down if she started to laugh.  She told me that she didn't want wrinkles, so she tried to hold down her face to keep from making creases.  I don't know how serious she was about it, but what I do know is that she was so thinking of the future- that she stopped herself from fully enjoying the present.  As much as I am amazed at this, I acknowledge that I do it to myself every day in that I am always planning a meal for later while while listening to someone in a conversation.  I dream of a big road trip I want to take across the country as I eat that meal I planned.  Then while I'm traveling I'm thinking about the changes I want to enact when I'm back home.  We are always living into the future, which is a function of human nature.  As a practice, I encourage you to try out for one day fully enjoying and relishing every moment.

Right now there are molecules buzzing, life is shifting, materials are breaking down and layers of dust are landing on your shoulders.  As simple and as mundane as every moment might feel, I am grateful for this moment sharing with you.